Episode Summary

Are you doing all the right things, but something still feels off?
This episode explores why that feeling exists and how your values — when clearly defined and structured into a system — become the foundation for aligned decision-making, leadership, and long-term wellbeing.

Rather than treating values as abstract ideals, this episode reframes them as practical tools for navigating ethical dilemmas, pressure-filled decisions, and moments where no option feels clearly “right.” You’ll learn why values must live in a hierarchy, not a list, and how a value system helps you stop living by everyone else’s rules.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• How a clear value system supports wellbeing, happiness, and success
• What values actually are and why they go beyond basic ethics
• Why having a value system matters more than having values alone
• How values guide tough personal, leadership, and business decisions
• Why misaligned values lead to burnout, dissatisfaction, and indecision

Ready to Activate Your Inner Ninja?

If this episode sparked something in you and you’re ready to ignite your inner ninja in your career, business, and personal life, book your complimentary Clarity Conversation — your inner ninja will thank you later.

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Transcript

Welcome to the Pocket Ninja Podcast, where big picture wisdom meets practical tools.

Are you doing all the right things in life, but somehow it just doesn’t feel right — like you’re going after your goals or doing all the things you need to do, but something feels off? Or you always feel torn between what you think you should do versus knowing that something about it doesn’t feel right for some reason. Or you try to take other people’s advice to achieve things, but it never really works for you.

If any of this resonates, of course, this episode is for you. This week, we’re deep diving into values. In this episode, you’ll learn what values really are, why you need a value system — not just values — and how to unlock wellbeing, happiness, and success for the long term.

I am so excited to get into this. Why? Because I love to teach and talk and coach and train about so many topics, but if I had to choose just one topic for the rest of my whole life, it would be values. Out of all the things I speak on — clarity, courage, playbook, empowerment, communication, feedback, and so much more — values are one of the most foundational and transformational topics. That’s why I love it so much.

Personally, I’ve experienced the biggest shifts and breakthroughs through understanding and living within my value system. It’s always the first place I go when things are hard or feel off.

So first, let’s look at what values are. Academically, values are defined as a basic conviction on ideals — what is right, good, or desirable. Our personal values are a sense of wrong and right to some degree. We can think of values as ethics because they’re like our own moral compass, but it’s more complicated than simple ethics, like we’ve talked about in past episodes.

Values are not about general ethics. Values are actually more about ethical dilemmas. In my ethics class in my MBA, we were taught that a real ethical dilemma is not choosing between what’s right or wrong — hopefully that is obvious for you — it’s really about choosing between two great options or two not-great options.

For example, a business choosing between hiring more staff so the workload is better for everyone, but maybe risking the company’s financial stability a little bit. Or keeping the company more financially stable so there’s less likelihood of layoffs in the future, but that means everyone has way too much work.

So values help us make these kinds of decisions. You can see the challenge in a real ethical dilemma — there’s no one true right answer. This is the same for value choices. There’s no one true right answer. It depends on your value system, or if it’s an organization, it depends on the organization’s value system.

Personally, it’s like choosing between pursuing your dream job but having to leave your family and community to do so. That’s a values dilemma. Like true ethical dilemmas, it’s important to note that when it comes to different values, neither is inherently right or wrong. Each value has its own pros and cons.

We see cultural values and ethical choices around directness versus passiveness, respect for seniors versus challenging authority, individualism versus collectivism, power distance versus equality. These are the choices we need to make. There isn’t an objectively correct answer.

That’s why often doing the “right” thing — like going to law school because that’s what everyone expects of you or staying in your hometown — just doesn’t feel right for you. It’s because you value different things.

Values are our own ethics that empower us and guide us to make tough personal, business, or leadership decisions.

So let’s look at values and why we need them — particularly why we need a value system.

We’ve said values are like the ethical guide for tough choices. Beyond understanding what your values are — more on that in the next episode — it’s essential that you not only have values, but that you have them in a system.

Why does this matter? If your values aren’t in a system, they become more of a hindrance than a help. Remember, values help us make hard choices, not easy ones. If you don’t have your values in a system, your values compete with each other — and that’s the whole problem.

This is one of the biggest challenges I see with my clients. They don’t have their values clarified, and they don’t have them in a hierarchy. That’s why something often feels off, or why they feel paralyzed when making tough decisions. Usually, you don’t know what your values are, or you don’t know what order to live them in.

For example, my number one value is freedom, and my number two value is leadership. It became clear that I needed to leave my really good job to start Pocket Ninja Strategies. Before developing my value system, I was torn between progressing where I worked, finding another job, or taking the risk to do my own thing.

Everyone had opinions. Nothing felt right until I got my values clear and put them in order. Then it was obvious — because I knew I would never feel satisfied unless I tried.

Another reason it’s so important to get your values clear and into a hierarchy is that you’re inundated with values from society, culture, family, community, friends, workplaces, and bosses. All of them have their own value systems. Living by someone else’s values does not work — and that’s why you feel lost, confused, or indecisive.

We often make choices we regret because we don’t know our values, so we make decisions based on someone else’s values — and then it feels awful.

This is true in business too. Under pressure, our biology inhibits critical thinking unless we’ve trained otherwise. That’s why we default to easy choices.

There’s a saying someone once told me: easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.

When you create a value system, you pre-decide. Your Playbook makes decisions for you when pressure hits. It’s like creating the map before you set sail. When you’re lost at sea, you have a compass — your true north.

Every time opportunities come my way, I check whether they give me more or less of my values. If they give me less, the answer is no.

There is no way to be well, happy, and successful long term while living outside your value system. It’s impossible. I see this constantly in my clients.

Living by everyone else’s values leaves you confused, frustrated, burnt out, and often sick. Life is hard no matter what — but living in someone else’s values is harder.

When I finally made choices aligned with my values, I became happier, healthier, and more successful.

There’s a quote by Elvis I love:
“Values are like fingerprints. Nobody’s are the same, but you leave them over everything you do.”

That’s it for this episode — a foundational introduction to values and value systems. In the next episode, we go deeper into how to create yours.

Before you go, ask yourself: what is one takeaway from this episode?

My takeaway is this — without my own values, I bob around the ocean. With them, I captain my own boat.

Thank you for tuning in to the Pocket Ninja Podcast, where big picture wisdom meets practical tools. If this episode sparked something, visit pocketninjstrategies.com to book a complimentary Clarity Conversation.

Disclaimer: This podcast is not a substitute for personalized professional advice. You are the expert in your own life, career, and business.

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